Category Archives: essay

Armadillo Day: The Nine-banded Varmint and Me

Armadillo Day
The Nine-banded Varmint and Me
Ryan E Felton

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          “What is your ‘Medieval Times?’”
          This question, posited by my friend Jessica at dinner, was tantamount to asking, “What would make your inner child happiest?” She’d just returned from a trip to that serf-and-sword-themed mega-restaurant, fulfilling a heretofore unrequited wish of her youth. It was, she said, all she’d dreamed it would be. I myself have never been, but based on her description I now envision a sort of heaven on Earth when I think of it, something like Disneyland dialed up to 11 on the giddy meter.
          Jess wanted her friends – at present, me and fellow diner Matt – to experience the same euphoria of realizing an old unsettled dream. She asked us what would be our equivalent experience. What would be our “Medieval Times?”
          My answer was reflexive.
          “Armadillo,” I said.
          There could be nothing else.
          “All I want is to see a nine-banded armadillo.” Continue reading

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